Assisted Living: An Act of Love

We as children of aging parents always want to remember them as vibrant and vigorous, even when they are no longer. Mom and Dad were our heroes. They fixed all our problems and came to the rescue whenever we were in trouble. What happens when Mom or Dad are no longer as we remember them.

Start ByTaking A Good Look At Mom and Dad

Have you noticed that Mom has difficulties with basic functions like dressing herself, meal preparation and cleaning? When you voice your concerns they will often respond, "I am just tired today," or ,"since I'm not leaving the house, I didn't get dressed." However, youv've noticed that this has become an unsettling trend. Many times we also overlook the fact that housekeeping tasks such as; dish washing, vacuuming and dusting are now, often, left undone.

While we hold fast to our childhood image of Mom and Dad many times things have drastically changed in them. Though well intentioned, we can harm them by holding on to the belief that that they are more capable than they really are of living independently. Though it will not be easy for either of you, it may be time to have a heartfelt discussion with a parent about seeking a new living solution.

What Changes Do You See In Your Parents?

Did Dad always sport a fresh haircut and a clean shave but now his hair is shaggy and his face has three days worth of stubble? Were Mom and Dad once socially active but they now choose to remain at home? Are you hearing more complaints during normal outings about leg pains and aches? It is normal to experience the physical changes that accompany aging, however, when they interfere with normal daily life functions it is a concern.

We want our parents to stay independent as long as they can so we often overlook signs of decline; loss of weight, meals left untouched, food gone bad in the refrigerator, unopened mail, or lack of attention to hygiene. What we want to blow off as a bad day may be an indication that our parents need a little help.

An Assesment To Tell If A Parent Is Ready For Help:

• Is your parent telling you that he is eating, but they are frail or losing weight?
• Are you finding bad food in their refrigerator?

• Are you constantly finding cuts, bruises or bumps that they either don't remember or attribute to a little slip and fall?

• Do they now fear staying alone at night?

• Do wear the same closes for more than one day?
• Has their housekeeping declined considerably?
• Are there days when they can't remember if they took their medication?
• Do they now seem listless and tired too often?

Answering yes to any of these questions means your parent may be ready to consider seeking another living solution such as, Assisted Living.

What Is An Assisted Living Facility?

Assisted Living is an option that allows a parent to maintain independence, yet offer 24 hour staff assistance if needed. You might say it affords the best of both worlds.This arrangement offers help with housekeeping, bathing, dressing and hygiene if needed. Most facilities also have a doctor on call and skilled nursing professionals to help with medication and health issues as needed. The elderly generally have the choice of one or two bedroom apartments with a floor plan and amenties to aid in their safety and security.

SERVICES USUALLY PROVIDED BY AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITIES

• Daily Meals
• Assistance with dressing, bathing, eating
• Housekeeping services
• Transportation
• Medical Care/Doctor Visits
• 24 hour security

• 24 hour monitoring electronically with call system.
• Wellness programs
• Medication Assistance
• Laundry services
• Social activities
• Professional Staff on duty 24 hours a day

Covering Cost of Assisted Living

Many elderly parents pay for their own assisted living stay. However, if they are not able and have no money,assets, or Longterm Assitance Insurance other options may be required. Some may rely on family assistance, Medicaid or a reverse mortgage for their unmet financial requirements.

The most important thing is to include them in your discussions and take that first step.Mom and Dad were always there for us, they made sure we were happy, loved and well provided for. It may be time to do the same for them by offering a solution that will improve the quality of their life. It won't be easy, but it may just be the ultimate act of love.

STOP ELDERLY ABUSE CAMPAIGN

http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx

Where Do You Begin Your Search?

The Assisted Living Federation of America www.alfa.org

A Place For Mom www.aplaceformom.com

Emeritus Senior Living www.emeritus.com

Rescare, Inc. www.rescare.com

Seniors for Living www.seniorsforliving.com

The Renaissance Assisted Living www.holidaytouch.com

National Association of Senior Move Managers www.nassm.com

Senior Community Services www.srcommunityservices.com

HCR Manor Care www.hcr-manorcare.com

Elder Options of Texas www.elderoptionsoftexas.com

A Place for Mom

Assisted Living Federation of America

Best of the Web

The American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging
http://www.aahsa.org
Read consumer information, fact sheets on aging services, and updates on recent legislation.

Assisted Living Federation of America
http://www.alfa.org
Gather information on assisted living communities, and search for facilities near you.

Care Pathways
http://www.carepathways.com/NHx.cfm
Read about nursing homes, find one locally, and order inspection records on specific facilities.

The National Center for Assisted Living
http://www.ncal.org
Find resources, consumer information, and publications on assisted-living facilities.

National Citizen’s Coalition for Nursing Home Reform
http://www.nccnhr.org
Get information on nursing home reform, and find contacts from programs such as the National Long Term Care Ombudsman Resource Center (202-332-2275).

Nursing Home Compare
http://www.medicare.gov/NHCompare/home.asp
Learn about the past performance of every Medicare- and Medicaid-certified nursing home in the country.

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